Daily Silly Status

A birth control pill a day keeps the mini-van away.

I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.

The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.

To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)

I wish some people`s cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.

if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys

If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.

What if animals all speak a universal language, and we’re the odd ones out???

Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.

Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.

Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food

Mister Rogers didn`t adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.

A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.

I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.

You know that button in the elevator with the fireman´s hat on it... turns out that is not the button you press to get a fireman´s hat.