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She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.
I hate girls who insert the phrase "my boyfriend" into every conversation. So does my boyfriend.
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
I love myself everyday. Sometimes, twice a day.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.