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Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
I`d steal a doughnut truck and attempt to outrun the cops, just to let people see a bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck!
Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
When someone tells you they`re playing a STD game... But you later realise they were talking about Spot The Difference.
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.