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I may not look good naked, but I`m a beautiful person on the insi.... Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
There were only 3 commandments until Moses’ wife got involved.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.