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that moment when autocorrect decides to ruin you and makes a text incredibly awkward.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
Loneliness is when your sleeve unrolls itself while washing dishes and you try to roll it back up with your face.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.