Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
There`s a reason why natural disasters have female names.
It’s hard to tell if I’m dealing really well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh!t.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don`t care if you get the last iPad Mini.
Cooking tip of the day: Rub your eyes BEFORE you dice the jalapenos...
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.