Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
My 14 year old sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added "not in your pajamas". So I`m wearing hers because good moms listen.
Life is full of disappointments, I`ll just add you to the list.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
My weekends are basically just spent splitting a bloomin` onion with my bros at Outback Steakhouse while trying to figure out why girls don`t like us.
I only eat the entire pint of ice cream in one sitting so that I won`t be tempted to eat it later.
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
No thermostat is as effective at regulating temperature as sticking a foot out from under the bed covers.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.