Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don`t even have to hide a body.
take me drunk i`m home
The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way” has a zero percent success rate.
Boy it`s nice out today... or at least that`s what it says on my computer.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
Every Instagram caption should just be, "ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY LIFE YET??"
The tragedy of Scooby-Doo is that whoever kept supplying criminals with such realistic prosthetic masks was never caught.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
GF - What`s that beeping? Me - Fasten Seatbelt Alarm. GF - How can you ignore something so annoying? Me - Huh?
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.