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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
You never know whats going on in your life until you’re f*cked up.
Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
I just realized there are more toes in the world than people
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
I want to meet the guy whose complaint led to cashiers asking me if it`s okay if they put the receipt in my bag.
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Seriousley.. The cuntestents in the 2013 speling beee contast hafe too now no the meening of the werd thay hafe been axed too spell. I coud rock that contast so eesy :))))) eg. The meening of "Easy". Anser: a kids oven
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
You think you have a tough job? I clean the windows on automatic doors.