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I noticed the toilet roll incorrectly installed in your selfie.
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
Technically, I don`t have to do anything until my wife wakes up and realizes I`m not doing anything.
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
Sometimes when I`m bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I`ve never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have pulled over had I known you were just going to criticize me
Guys would stay home longer if boobs came in a 30 pack.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!