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Relatives - Because sometimes you need reminding of your bad genes too.
Me: spends 12 hours comparing teams before completing NCAA bracket, loses $50. GF: Spends 5 minutes picking teams with "cute" mascot names, wins $1000.
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
I go both ways. I like hard AND soft tacos.
On the Internet you can be anything you want ... It`s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low…Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it…
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me.
I`m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team
I like to go to a strangers house tell them you used to live there and that your grandfather hid money somewhere in the house and just leave.
It`s all shits and giggles till someone giggles and shits
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness