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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
You can stay, but your clothes must go.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
I did not mean to hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I just figured you already knew.
I attend weddings simply to hear them two beautiful words that bring so many happy people together...."Open Bar!!"
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they`re going to be when you kill them.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
"..all the king`s horses & all the king`s men couldn`t get Humpty together again" ... What guy thought horses might figure it out?
Iām off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.