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You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2015.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
never tell a lie...unless it is true
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.