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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart?
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage but I can park anywhere.
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! ..By driving away and not leaving a note.
me + you = overpopulation... :) :p
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
Whenever I`m feeling down... I try to make sure my nails are clipped.
I may be evil, crazy, insane and f*cking naughty but I do have some good traits, I just don`t dwell on them.
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is `What is never the answer?`
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.