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Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb?
My 6yo`s homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep, that teacher knows about DUIs alright!
Let me just flip this here omelette.... aaaaaand I`m having scrambled eggs
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
If he uses an iPhone 5 in Taken 3 he`s going to be spending half the movie charging it.
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
I was born at a very early age.
I eat boiled eggs, cabbage, and baked beans before the in-laws visit. They never stay long.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"