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My eye problems starts on Mondays and ends on Friday evening. I see clearer after the fourth bottle.
Okay, let’s get this straight. There’s no way everone here has the best boyfriend in the world.
I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.
why do i feel like you are reading this
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
I don’t know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they’d post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
when in Rome get naked ;)