Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
Fart jokes ain`t funny, they stink.
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
If I dont clean my house soon. They are gonna bring in blindfolded people to do a Febreze commercial
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.
You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.
Being handed a flyer is the offline version of a pop-up ad.