Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate...
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Key to a Happy Life: Get a job where people ask, “You actually get paid for doing this?”
Thanks to yesterday`s chili, I can definitively tell you that there are 242 tiles in this bathroom stall.