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We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
Somebody has to be awesome…might as well be me.
Well, I`m really not sure what my spirt animal is but I`m sure it looks like road kill right about now.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.