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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
Most difficult job ever.......Working in a bubble wrap factory......Imagine the self control needed.
If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
Golf is such a strange game. You shout four, shoot six, and write down five.
My dance moves are somewhere between “dog being shocked by an electric fence” and “squirrel crossing the road.”