Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
The term "I paid GOOD money for that!" is soo silly..Honestly, have you ever seen BAD money? NOT ME !!!
I`m sorry I got salsa on your baby, and I`m extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
Nothing f*cks up your Friday like realizing that it’s only Thursday.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
The cool thing about The Clapper is it doubles as a strobe light during s@x.
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
There are two rules to success in life - 1. Don`t tell people everything you know
Another successful year no random father`s day cards in the mail!
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
You`re right, vodka. This is the perfect time to use a hammer.