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If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
Tonight`s good mood is sponsored by ... Beer!!
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has been canceled. In other news, my faith in humanity has been restored.
When I die, before my will is read, I want my entire Google search history revealed and whoever is left in the room gets it all.
Live For Today… Plan For Tomorrow… Party Tonight!
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
Scientists are saying that social media is making us less accepting and more aggressive. Whatever, a$$holes!
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.