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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Please God take me back to being 12 & let me start again & mess up my life in an entirely different way. I have fresh ideas.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
Don`t threaten to leave people, surprise them by actually leaving.
I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
The one thing women don`t want to find in their stockings on christmas morning is their husband
I was going to change my profile pic to a pumpkin for Halloween, but it didn`t look that much different from my actual head.
A magic eraser, but for my bar tab.
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.