Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Perhaps Nicki Minaj just lost a series of bets.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
I am looking at this online special deal at Disneyworld and thinking no, my kids can annoy me just fine right here at home.
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
I have no idea who is gonna die first in this movie, because everyone is white.
You know you`re broke when your Bologna Does Not have a first name!
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.
After socializing and being nice to people all day it`s nice to sit down, drink by myself, and be an a$$hole on the Internet.
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.