Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
I`m thinkin` Dodgeball........... but with random people..........who don`t know they are playing.............
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
Describe myself in three words ... 1. Lazy
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Even if your life was a total waste of space, there’s always hope that you’ll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
Its all fun and games until someone drinks the beer with the cigarette butts in it..
If you leave me a voice mail that asks me to call you back at my convenience you have no one to blame but yourself.
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.