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I just love having sex with you...Next time I hope you are there with me.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners.
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
sometimes when i`m lonely i`ll fill my bathtub with tomato sauce and pretend that i`m a meatball
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn’t be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn’t waste thousands of them in the `80s throwing them at Mario.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)