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Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried to nail JELL-O to a tree.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
I`d kill for a microwave that plays Europe`s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Why aren`t we letting blind people think that dragons are real?
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
I always scratch off the "Plus One" option on wedding invitations are replace it with "Drinking for two"