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I laid awake all night again worrying about why I’m always so tired.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
?"I hate when people come to MY house, knock on MY door, and then give me the "why aren`t you wearing pants" look."
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
Key to a great marriage ... Lack of imagination.
Whenever I hear that customer service calls are going to be recorded I do one of my raps because I`m too poor to pay for studio time
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
It`s not you, it`s me. I just don`t like myself when I`m around you.
Man I wanna throw a book at someones face and be like "I Facebooked you!"
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
It’s like I was put on this earth so unstable people have somebody to date.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!