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Pick any number. Multiply it by two. Now add 12 to it. Divide it by 3. Now change it to 10. That`s how many seconds you just wasted.
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
McDonalds ... closing thigh gaps since 1967.
Iām in no shape to exercise.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
Some people need a shock collar. I need the remote.
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.