Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
You can`t fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
When a movie says "Based on a true story." it means this is sort of what happened but with way uglier people.
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you`ve done with the place.
Facebook ~ redefining "friendship" one booby pic at a time. ;)