Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
Got my friend a Starbucks gift card. 2 weeks later I get a call. They said hey Dean, u put any money on this Starbucks gift card. I said no itΒ΄s a gift card. ThatΒ΄s the beauty of it u can put as much money on it as u want.
I`m thankful for many things, but mostly that there were no camera phones when I was in high school.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
If they have an Ice Cream Truck for kids why don’t that have a Beer Truck for adults?
I just want one spam email that`s like, "Congratulations! You have a perfect-sized p*nis."
Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
I really would like to take a yoga class. But I really can`t trust my farts.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Today is "find your active cavity at 50% off" day at your local store.
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
Hell hath no fury like a woman who just said "seriously?" after a comment you made during an argument.
I’m not crazy just the voices are!
Ways to Win my Heart: Buy me Beer Bring me Beer Be Beer.