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I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn`t make a funny, cat-shaped hole
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
Dear Fox news,I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.