Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I would order delivery more often, but I just can`t stand lowering the drawbridge.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
[the instructor clearly frustrated with me on first day of veterinary school] "It doesn`t matter if its a dog, it`s still called a cat scan"
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
If you need Facebook to remind you it`s your wife`s birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it "yoga"?
You guys make me wanna be a better alcoholic!
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.