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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
I hate having to work for a living. But I hate starving even more.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
You`re in your 20`s... you don`t have "haters"... you have "adults" that think you are "annoying"
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
I think abs are for guys that don`t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.