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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I want to get a welcome mat for my front door that just says "Text Me"
If you’re keeping score in your relationship, I promise you, you’re losing.