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Sent my ex a card that said, "Get better soon." He`s not ill, just really crappy in bed.
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
Iām going to start telling women that Iām available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
Before I die, I`m putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin? (asking for a friend)
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
I`m always amazed that when tragedy strikes how quickly people on Facebook become experts on the subject no matter what it is.
Never trust a man wearing more than 0 necklaces.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
"Sir your phone`s ringing." "Yeah, phones do that."
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D