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Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
That annoying feeling when you finally downloaded the movie you wanted to watch and BOOM!... It`s in French. #F**kYouFrance
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Today`s interpretive dance was brought to you by "Spider On My Shirt". Up next we have "Oh jeeze, where did it go?!"
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
HR have advised that I’m not allowed to ask my chubby co-workers if they ate my missing stapler.
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.