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Found out today that you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, NOT a jelly stain. Sorry, strange lady at the Waffle House. Just trying to help...
I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.
Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
On a scale of one to crazy, how many cats do you have?
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
Singing in the shower is illegal according to this Ikea security guard.
I used to question how much information was too much information. Joined Facebook, It`s much clearer now
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
Tell a therapist, Not Facebook.