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One trenta cheeseburger please.
You Are The Reason My Middle Finger Was Created.
When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it`s perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach`s.
for some reason my plans to workout never work out
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
If I could have anything in the world it would be to have the same finger prints as my enemy
The best way to a woman`s heart is by saying three words - You lost weight.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves ...That`s where I come in...
"Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this." ... "Can`t touch this."--MC Hammer giving a Museum tour
Being fabulous all day makes me really, really tired.