Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do not treat a woman like an object. It hates that...
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
I wonder if the Ziploc bag company secretly lobbies to keep marijuana illegal.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
Iām supporting our troops today by going commando.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
I wish they all could be Jerry Springer girls.
Answering all questions with "but you ain`t got no legs Lieutenant Dan" stops people from asking you questions.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.
If you want to talk to me on the phone, I need at least three days notice.