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Getting married at 22 sounds alot like leaving the party at 9:30
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Men are great listeners when you have big boobs ;)
The thing I miss most about being young is knowing everything.
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
I just want to be perfect... Nah just kidding, I love being weird
Using Romeo & Juliet to express how in love you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true.
You know you`re getting old when Happy Hour is a nap.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?