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That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot
I once ran a Half Marathon. Well, I say that because it sounds better than saying I collapsed and almost died halfway through a Full Marathon.
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
My mind has a mind of its own.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.