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I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
The secret to dancing is to pretend you have a wedgie and you`re trying to get it unstuck without using your hands.
The best things in life require no pants.
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
Relationship status: I make my own sandwiches.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I can tell how productive I was at work by how much battery my cell phone has left when I leave.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
The general rule is that you shouldn`t ride an elevator during a fire, but I mean, talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon