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Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
I was reading that it takes the average man four minutes to have sex, and he’s asleep eight minutes after that. This sounds very dangerous, because by then most men are driving home.
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
Somebody told me I`m horrible with names.
If the people in horror movies would just listen to me, they would still be alive!
Kinda like Facebook, I wish I could ‘hide’ people in real life.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
Every so often you come across a person who always smiles no matter what, that person is the reason why random bitch slaps should be a thing
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
Yawning is the body`s way of saying `10% Battery Remaining`.