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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
I bet the guy who invented fake dog poo was upset the name "shampoo" was taken
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
Ain`t no sunshine when she`s gone..... or sandwiches.... Ain`t no sandwiches either.