Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A zombie apocalypse sounds even worse when you consider all those smoke detectors beeping for battery changes.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
You know you are old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
I don`t know about you, but I`ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as a child.
My new voicemail: “If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.”
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today