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i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
I did 26 situps this morning. It’s not a lot, but then again, how many times can someone snooze an alarm clock ?
This complimentary lemonade at the doctor`s office tastes funny.
If one door closes & another door opens, you’re probably in prison.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
I put a dollar in one of those change machines once. Nothing changed.
The only problem with sarcasm is, it only works on intelligent people.
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.