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Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
I hate when I’m comfortable in bed and I forget my iPhone in the other room!
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Sh!t Sherlock Research Institute.
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
It`s such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
Why can`t life be as easy as I am?
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
If there`s anything I`ve learned in my 27 years, it`s to never admit your real age.