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Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
I`m so deep in the friendzone that I`ve met her boyfriends parents
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.