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One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!
The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer.
My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
People who get out of the car and actually have a sit down meal inside McDonald`s scare me.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
Condoms prevent minivans.
"I went to Jared" I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.
Today’s Generation: “Omg my parents never let me have anything.” via iPhone.