Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers.
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish my ex wife would die ... That`s as far as I got.
The secret to eternal life and happiness could be hidden in the Terms & Conditions and we would never know.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
"mommy watch this!" is the toddler equivalent of "hold my beer and watch this"
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
I`m not lazy, I just rest before I get tired
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
No, I CAN’T believe how early it’s getting dark. After 4 billion years of this happening I was sure this would be the year it didn’t.